"He created a Telegram channel called “Sebas Alpha gang Syndicate'',"
Once upon a time, there was a guy named Sebastián, or Seb as his friends called him, a true-blue Andalusian who spent his days in the fields of Jaén, surrounded by sheep that seemed like cousins due to their stubbornness. SebOnPoint, as he called himself on his only social media (a Facebook profile with pics of lambs and "shepherd life" memes), was 28 and had a job that boiled down to three things: making sure the sheep didn’t eat the boss’s garden, shearing them when warm weather hit, and telling bad jokes to avoid dying of boredom. “Hey, sheep, if you keep eating like that, you’ll need an NFT for your wool!” he’d yell at a rebellious ewe, but the animal just stared back like, “Mate, get with the times.”Life in the fields was chill, but Seb dreamed bigger. As a kid, he’d watched Wall Street documentaries and pictured himself as a finance wolf, though his reality was more “wool street wolf.” One summer day in 2020, while munching on a migas sandwich under an olive tree, his cousin from Madrid sent him a WhatsApp link: “Check this out, Seb, cryptocurrencies. They say you get rich in your sleep.” Seb, who didn’t even know what Bitcoin was but was an expert at napping with a sheep as a pillow, took the bait. He opened YouTube on his ancient phone (the same one he used to blast flamenco at village parties) and searched “how to invest in crypto for dummies.”That’s when he stumbled upon Enrique Moris’s videos. Not in Spanish, mind you, because Seb, who’d learned English watching pirated series with dodgy subtitles (“The sheep are revolting!” instead of “revolting” as in gross), preferred the international vibe to sound more pro. Enrique, that charismatic Sevillian with an accent like a bullfighter crossed with a New York broker, had a channel in English called “Crypto Trades with Enrique Moris” (well, really his main channel, but Seb swore there was an “international” version just for him, with extra flair for price surges). The videos were pure gold: “How to spot the next 10x altcoin,” “DeFi farming for beginners,” and the epic “Avoid pump-and-dump scams like a pro.” Seb got hooked, watching every night after locking up the sheep pen, flashlight in hand, phone glued to his ear. “This guy’s a genius!” he thought. “He talks about ‘lambos’ (Lambos, as in Lamborghinis, but Seb heard ‘lambs’ and cracked up alone—‘If my sheep knew about 200% yields, they’d stop grazing dry grass!’”).The funny part? Seb went all in. He sold his old motorbike (the one he rode to town) and bought his first Ethereum for 200 bucks. Following a Moris video on “moonshots,” he dumped it all into a shitcoin called SheepCoin (seriously, it existed, with a pixelated sheep logo!). Next day, bam! It shot up 500%. Seb jumped for joy, spooking the sheep, who bleated in unison like they were celebrating. “Enrique, you’re my shepherd in the shadows!” he wrote in a YouTube comment, though the video was in English and his autocorrect butchered it: “You are my sheep in the shadows!”With the profits, Seb didn’t stop. He created a Telegram channel called “SebOnPoint Crypto Pasture,” sharing Moris-inspired tips. At first, only his uncles and the village postman followed: “Seb, is this crypto thing like the lottery?” But one day, a meme he posted—a sheep in sunglasses saying “HODL like a boss”—went viral in a Spanish traders’ group. From 10 followers, he jumped to 500 in a week. Seb, still herding sheep by day, was now analyzing charts at night on a mobile app. “Look, sheep, this head-and-shoulders pattern is like when the boss makes you graze on the hill! Sell before you get sheared!”The big break came during the 2021 bull run. Following a Moris video on “Leverage trading without losing your shirt” (in English, of course, for extra epicness), Seb opened a 5x leverage position on Solana. He made 10,000 euros in a week. He quit the fields (his boss said, “Seb, without you, the sheep will revolt, but go, I’m not Moris”), moved to a shared flat in Madrid, and turned his channel into “SebOnPoint Signals,” with daily alerts, analysis, and even livestreams where he shared field stories: “Remember, in crypto, like with sheep: if you see the herd running toward a pump, run too, but don’t fall off the cliff!”Now, @SebOnPoint
is a crypto influencer with 50k Telegram followers, trades that bought him that Lambo (ha! A real Lamborghini this time), and a fund to “rescue orphan sheep” because, he says, “Crypto saved me, but sheep taught me patience.” Every time he nails a big trade, he posts a video thanking Enrique Moris: “Thanks, master, for those English rolls that got me out of the pen. From shepherd to point-on in the blockchain!” Everyone laughs, because deep down, Seb’s still the same: a regular guy who, instead of shearing wool, now shears profits. The end. Want a sequel with more sheep memes?